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The inability of a child to thrive in a Constitutionally protected God based perpetual threat and rape culture is not a fault of the child; however it does become their odious responsibility upon reaching adulthood. The Christian religion at its core is a toxic mechanism whereby intergenerational trauma is kept alive, active, and deeply embedded in each new generation, as it has done over the past 2,000+ years.

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Brian Bull - I found the strength to tell my wife, the soul destroying secret that was ruining my life

Sunday, 29 August 2021 9:15:44 PM


When dark clouds gather in your mind and a feeling of safety is too hard to find

The flashbacks come when least expected, you're vulnerable and unprotected

Your childhood lost, innocence defiled, your trust and love now reviled

The tears, the fears, the pain, the shame, questions asked was I to blame

What did he do, what went wrong, I was just a child, he was so strong

Who can I tell, who would listen, why was I put into this position

Was this a punishment, had I been bad, I feel so empty alone and sad

Why did this happen and why to me, seems everyone stares what do they see

My minds a jumble can't concentrate, the love I gave now turns to hate

Internal emptiness turns icy cold, happiness gone, there's just slime and mould

Surely someone can see I'm not the same, my fear level rises just hearing his name

Can't stay in this house with him alone, it's more of a dungeon than a loving home

It's where it happened, it could happen again, where is God this life's insane

The days still pass, the months, the years, still I can't control the tears

They always come when I'm alone, it seems a weakness I can't condone

I'm now a man but he still owns the power, the sight of him still makes me cower

All ties with him I finally sever, more contact with him I can now say NEVER

From my parents a question out of the blue, ''was it a sexual thing between my brother and you

I thought it was but we are not to blame, he'd done something before to the families shame

Surely you don't blame us for what he did'', my mind was whirling, my anger I hid

''Had you said we'd have had him in Court but now he's dead,it would be for nought''.

They finally leave and I just don't understand, why leave it till now, was this planned

No,they hadn't said Brian are you alright, just dropped the bombshell then off in the night

All the unwanted emotions came back in a flood, again I suppressed them as best I could.

At age 64 my anger finally flared, I hit out at everything, Little was spared

I had lost control I could no longer cope, reliving it again, I was losing all hope

My family stood by me though they'd never been told, why at times I could be so cold

I found the strength to tell my wife, the soul destroying secret that was ruining my life

I even explained how, at 11 I had tried to end all the pain, by committing suicide

In the medicine cabinet a small dark jar, it was marked as poison, would I go this far

Got a teaspoon, filled it, with this dark brown stuff, just swallow it down, just be tough

Walked off to school no feeling of dread, just thinking at anytime I would fall down dead

There was no regret of doing myself harm but strangely there was, odd feelings of calm

With my last breath all the pain would be gone and that would be better than struggling on

By lunch time the poison was doing nothing to me, the relief I sought wasn't going to be

I never tried again, I'm not sure why, maybe the child within said at least let's try

To fight the emotions, to block my mind, against all of the flashbacks of any kind

Although this worked for many years, there were still those times I shed many tears

Then counselling sessions helped me to see, there was a way for me to be free

The journey took time but I reached my goal, now I feel alive, happy and whole

The fight is over and I know I've won, the cold deep within has been warmed by the sun

The tears, the fears, the shame that has been, I know the sea has washed me clean.

Any victims out there that may read this verse, please start your journey, please break the curse

Accept the help that's offered, that's what counsellors are for, join us who are saying

''We are Victims, No More''

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2023 Findings in Spain found that 0.6% of the population of Spain had been sexually abused by Roman Catholic priests and laity. Up to 50 million alive on any day who have been raped or abused by Catholic clergy &/or Catholic laity

Current world population is 8 billion - 0.6% = 48 million alive today who are likely to have been raped by Catholics globally.

The church protected the perpetrators, not the victims

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"This is a matter for the church and I respect the internal judgements of the church. I don't stand outside the church and provide them with public lectures in terms of how they should behave. I've noted carefully what his Holiness has said in the United States. Obviously that was a source of great comfort and healing in the United States. I'm like all Australians very much looking forward to what the Pope has to say here in Australia as well, as I am to my own conversation with the Pope later this morning." Kevin Rudd, Prime Minister of Australia, 17 July 2008. more

If you found this information to be of assistance please don't forget to donate so that we can extend these information pages which are focused on providing knowledge and information to survivor/victims on their Human Rights with justice, compassion and empathy at the fore along with sound knowledge of Human Biology and Psychology, Human Evolution and Neuroscience. Information is not provided as legal or professional advice; it is provided as general information only and requires that you validate any information via your own legal or other professional service providers.

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Wednesday, 22 June 2022 - I may not have this down syntax, word and letter perfect or with absolute precision in every aspect; however time and the evidence will show that I am closer to the truth than any religion has been or will likely be.
Let history be the standard by which that is measured.

Youtube - listen to Commissioner Bob Atkinson get it wrong - again
The Commissioner informs us that the clergy sexual abuse issue was all over and that it had only been a small statistical glitch around the year 2000. History shows this to have been a display of absolute ignorance on the issue ...

Makarrata : a better future for our children based on justice and self-determination. The Uluru Statement from the Heart. See Yours, mine and Australia's children. I acknowledge the Traditional People and their Ownership of Australia.

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Hegemony: The authority, dominance, and influence of one group, nation, or society over another group, nation, or society; typically through cultural, economic, or political means.

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