You got this far! Me taking a mental diversion - enjoy and will add more as chance permits
On a day where I am doing OK but not able to find any future I turn my head to what and where I should go in this situation.
Where else but the Internet. What am I looking For? What I am looking for is the ability to hire someone who is mentally capable of reading my stuff without escalating me so that I can have them set a schedule of sorts that will keep me on the task of writing of these events. Currently I have begun to write pages like this as a way of getting some of my thoughts down so now I have a growing list of pages with titles that I can recall and as a recollection or thoughts come to me I can go to a page and write on that. That process is to me pretty random and is led by my emotional responses to current events around me and if left to that I will ignorantly step around any of those things that I find difficult which of course is the very stuff I want to write about as writing about or talking about most of it settles it so much for me. I think that describes that part reasonably closely.
"Emotional intelligence is the cornerstone of mental toughness. You cannot be mentally tough without the ability to fully understand and tolerate strong negative emotions and do something productive with them." Forbes
I have managed to get this far in explaining my life and how childhood events had a role in getting me here so I must fit in with the "36% of these who are able to accurately identify their emotions as they happen". Whew I seem to be off the ground and running. My confidence flies.
Well there is a surprise. What am I confident about and what am I not confident about as this fact appears to be one upon which sucess is defined, made and put away. I am busting with excitement at the prospect of reviewing this some more.
"They Neutralize Toxic People"
I have done when I found myself in circumstances that I realised were toxic. I can recall my most recent that said "Your attempted intervention was not wanted, not warranted and not professional". Deflecting them is a better approach rather than attempting to neutralise as this can draw you more deeply into an already toxic situation.
An example here is the survivor of childhood sexual abuse by Catholic clergy attempting to bring those matters to a close be that via the Church offered processes, police, Royal Commission, taskforce SANO, psychiatry, psychology or family. Then of course there is the circumstance where your very existence is seen as being toxic towards someone's personal salvation or their personal relationship with their supreme being of choice or by imagination.
Personally I would scrub this one off any strong point list I made in my life.
"They Embrace Change"
Love it and the more of the better.
Now apart from organised religion, psychopaths and apologists in positions of authority such as politics, policing, health, government services and a diagnostic manual that at the stroke of pen "cured" more than 100 million people across the planet and aided in protecting them from perpetual persecution by aligning their diagnosis with the available evidence. Perhaps in a few years time the DSM will remove is biases towards those of us with no beliefs in gods, goblins, sureme beings due to a lack of evidence as then hundreds of millions more people will be exempted from the organised insanity of this toxic form of diagnosis and treatment.
My only wish is that religion and those who follow one, psychopaths and apologists in positions of authority in politics, policing, health, government services and the more could embrace sufficient change that would leap them forward a few thousand years in the cycle of human development; at least to the point where we are beyond scapegoating, wilful ignorance, indoctrination, psychological entrapment and the human rights that children are supposed to have with regard to making choices about their future - none of that happening in religion of course.
When a taskforce is given the Latin name (of course the denial for that has had a long time to develop but help yourself to a long long list of Latin named police taskforces as history shows a solid connection with our "Christian heritage" and more particularly Catholic wherever there is a chance to block the progress of a claimant through filtering State and Criminal law through a Catholic indoctrinated filter. Nothing to see here now move along or will all that be over if Victoria Police decide to apologise for their many years long obstruction of victims.
Victoria Police should disband SANO as any apology without doing so would only be a fraud and would take the World further back towards those primitive ways of life we are all trying to move forward of and beyond.
"They Say No"
I manage that Ok I feel.
"They Know That Fear Is The No. 1 Source Of Regret"
Most of us Catholic raised children learn that very early on in our life. There is no fear greater than the fear of losing your life and a Catholic childhood is one where you get to experience that as early as possible.
I had that in spades by the time I was 3 and half.
By then I had just begun to learn that both fear and regret were going to become the most consistent parts of my interactions with siblings. The question in that goes to one that asks which one were suffering from fear and which were suffering from regret.
Today I still regret the fracturing that the sexual and physical abuse and torture by nuns and priests forced into my life and the lives of my brothers and sisters. That for me is a regret and one that will only die with me as the injury caused in the childhoods of so many still persist today and whenever I attempt to engage in conversation or to ask questions it seems I am met with fear and possibly regret. Most of all I am met with silence and in that is a reminder of childhood unspoken fears where it was simply assumed that the other would know what I must do. For them that was to be silent and many of them are still bonded to the fears that brought that about.
"They Embrace Failure . . ."
Failure and family go hand in hand once you stand up and announce that you don't believe in imaginary gods, fairies, demons or other implausible imaginary entities and of course if you add to that that you openly acknowledge that you are a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. Add shock, horror and mock trauma if your abuser was Catholic clergy. Add hypocrisy if you want what is nominally deemed to be justice in the land of a fair go. Give us Aussie kids a "Fair Go Mate!" see how many of us kids have been and will be sexually abused by the time we are 12 years old
". . . Yet, They Don’t Dwell On Mistakes"
Is this really a good piece of advice? Learning is all about seeing, acknowledging and understanding what went wrong as that is how we learn.
". . . and They Don’t Limit The Joy Of Others"
It would be far easier to say that they were no longer adversely affected by the trauma inflicted on them by religion in their childhood as the limiting of joy and happiness is a benchmark that the Catholic religion sets way above so many other toxic belief systems. Bad ideas simply don't get better over time - they remain bad ideas.
I fail here.
"They Get Enough Sleep"
I am a winner here.
"They Limit Their Caffeine Intake"
And I am a winner here.
"They Don’t Wait For An Apology To Forgive"
Been a way of life since childhood.
"They’re Relentlessly Positive"
I am a winner here else I would not be alive to sit here to write this.
"Bringing It All Together"
There is no future while you live in poverty.
My top Mentally Tough points
TFYQA Think for Yourself Question Authority
When what you say, what you mean and what you do are in harmony you are being as factual and real as you possibly can be.
I view psychiatry as being on a par with religion; they are both made up with little to no evidence to support them.
Later in life John married in Toowoomba only to find that he was related to the then bishop of Toowoomba Bill Morris. Morris was the head of the bishops conference and was the go to person in the country for survivors of childhood sexual abuse by Catholic clergy and yet I was never able to get a time or a conversation with the bishop. I did get conversations or connection with a number of Catholic organisations with varying degrees of weirdness.